When Fangirls Attack
by Spice of Life
Summary: Never going to be updated.
1. Chapter 1

I have no idea what possessed me to write this. [By the way, this is DreamQueen110, I changed my name] I was obsessing over Khleo and some of the other boys with some of my friends today, and I had an idea to write this. It's one of those retarded fics, which has no point or meaning. Yes, my specialty ^^) Okay, this will be more than one chapter. If you want to be in it, I'll accept the first 3 reviews, and I'll put you in. Just tell me your name, and what character you want to hug to death *evil grin*  
  
Without further ado, here is my odd-fan crazed spurge of energy! Whooo!  
  
~~!!~~  
  
Zig Zag was looking all around, examining every face, looking around every corner, checking under every bed. They were here. He could feel it. Somewhere in here... lurking around here...  
  
A thump.  
  
He whirled around, throwing his arms up in a karate-like pose, ready for whoever was there. Nobody was.  
  
Another thump.  
  
A surpressed squeal of joy, and then, suddenly, he was pummeled and jumped on top of by somebody shrieking.  
  
Zig Zag screamed bloody murder, but whoever had jump attacked him, was still on top of him, hugging him and squeezing.  
  
"Get off of me! Get off! Let me go! I don't want to die!" Zig Zag screamed, and the person finally got off of him. It was-A GIRL?!  
  
"What are you doing here?" he sputtered, and then when the girl tried to hug him again, he yelled, "And who are you?"  
  
"I..." She grinned and batted her eyelashes mysteriously, "Am your worst nightmare."  
  
"You're... you're the guy on the Oatmeal box?!" Zig Zag asked, his eyes bulging out of his head. He shrieked, and then dove into his bed for cover, screaming, "Get the oatmeal away! Get it away!"  
  
The girl stood there puzzled for a few seconds, and then took his state of mind to her advantage. She pounced on him, and began to hug him mercilessly, while talking about him being an insane hottie. "I'm not the guy on the oatmeal box, "She said, causing him to unravel and untwist himself from his blanket, and to peer at her cautiously, "You're not?"  
  
"Nope." She grinned, "I'm the guy on the Dish detergent container!" She laughed evilly, while he dove for cover again, screaming about Mr. Clean coming to eat his toes in the middle of the night.  
  
"No, I keeeeed you. I'm SHAUN! AND I-LOVE-YOU!!!!" She screamed, hugging him again.  
  
"Too-much-love" Zig Zag coughed, trying to squirm out of her iron hug, which just caused her to tighten her grip, causing him to pass out.  
  
Shaun gasped dramatically, noticing the unconscious Zig Zag in her arms. She struck a pose, and weeped. She stopped, mid-moan, and grinned. She let out a diabolical laughter that rang through the camp.  
  
*ELSWHERE IN CAMP*  
  
"Z-E-R-O" Zero wrote on a slip of paper, practicing his writing. He heard a "Oooh" from somewhere else in the tent, and decided to investigate. He looked around, finding no source of the noise, and then noticed a pair of feet sticking out from under a bed. He walked over to it, and was bombarded by 3 girls, all screaming at him, and grabbing his hair.  
  
"No! No! Stop!" He yelled, falling over from the 3 girls clinging to him and his adorably fluffy hair.  
  
"Your hair is so adorably fluffy." One girl cooed, trying to climb upon his head.  
  
"You are so...hot." Another girl said, hugging him.  
  
"You are a sexy beast [1]" The other girl said, making a "Rrrr" noise, and jumping on him like a tiger.  
  
"Mmph mphh mfmpf mph?" Zero asked from under the pile of girls.  
  
"Mmhm, yep, yeah. " One girl said, pulling out a notebook, and writing something down, 'Note, Uses Afro-Glo [2] in hair. Mmhm, makes extra-shiny, and gives bounce."  
  
"I said..." Zero yelped, breaking through the pile, and taking in air, "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Ashley," said the girl with the notebook, "Note, is even cuter in- person."  
  
"I'm Erin," the girl still sitting on his head and fluffing his adorably cute hair said, "And your hair is adorably cute."  
  
"And that's Aly." Ashley said, pointing to the girl who had attached herself to Zero's side, and was ranting about him being a 'sexah' beast', "The only words she has left in her vocabulary after seeing you are, "Sexy Beast"  
  
"Stop calling him sexy beast." Erin grumbled, still playing with his adorably fluffy hair, "I love your adorably fluffy hair."  
  
"He's MY sexy beast!" Aly growled, almost attacking the pouting Erin, but deciding she didn't want to let go of Zero.  
  
"Note, " Ashley said, taking out her notebook again, "Subject seems to be 73% agitated, 42% scared, 90% terrified, 12% woman."  
  
"12 percent?" Zero asked, before being jumped upon by all three girls again.  
  
"I'll never let you and your adorably fluffy hair out of my site," Erin said, sighing contentedly and laying down in Zero's hair.  
  
"Mine!" Ashley yelled, pulling him away from Erin, who had fallen off his head, and his adorably fluffy hair.  
  
"My adorably fluffy hair!" Erin shouted, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from Ashley who had grabbed his other arm.  
  
"My sexy beast!" Aly cried, grabbing his leg and pulling.  
  
"What did I do to deserve this?!" Zero moaned, being pulled in different directions by the ranting fangirls who were bent on having his adorably fluffy hair and hotness all to themselves. They would do anything to get him... including... *dun, dun, dun*... murder...  
  
"Hey wait," Erin interrupted, "I thought this was only rated PG? You can't kill anybody in a PG rated fic! Not even over Khleo Thomas and his adorably fluffy hair and hotness!"  
  
*Averted eyes* I guess you're right... oh well. For questioning my authoritah', you get... no ZERO!  
  
"NOOO!" Erin screamed, falling down onto her knees, and weeping loudly.  
  
*Laughing diabolically* Ha! It's my fanfic! I can do whatever I want!  
  
...To be continued. It 'tis my bedtime, and I must take my leave. I bed thee...good day. Good night... good... Good January the 17th.  
  
~!~!~!~  
  
[1]-My friend Aly actually says this. She calls Zero her sexy beast. Note to self-Get sane friends.  
  
[2]-Haha, Afro-Glo. Jake makes fun of Khleo in the Actor Commentary on the DVD for using this.  
  
Remember, review and reply! First 3 reviewers get in the fic! 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, if this comes out before my review does... do not be discouraged if you are not in this chapter. I decided to take the 11 of you that reviewed, and put you all in, but I didn't get all of your names so... yeah, check to see if my review is out yet, that explains everything. Okay, and every new person that replies to chapter 2, will either be in chapter 3 or 4. So, If you are reviewing to chapter 2, and haven't to chapter 1, put in your name, and which character you want to traumatize.  
  
Enjoy the next chapter! Beware of my hair!  
  
~~~!!~~~!!~~~  
  
Magnet had heard something that sounded either like an agonized scream, or some kind of vulture shrieking over its prey. Could have been either one. Not that he really cared. He was concentrating on breaking his canteen so he wouldn't have to dig tomorrow. He jumped on it. It still wouldn't break. He picked it up to examine it. Not a crack. He sighed deeply, and then chucked it across the room, sitting down on a bench outside of the showers. He heard it make contact with the wall, and then crack open loudly. He turned around, 'Why didn't I think of that before?' He wondered aloud, standing up to retrieve it.  
  
As he bent over to pick up the pieces of his canteen, he heard a soft giggle, so he straightened back up and listened. Nothing. He sighed, thinking he was starting to hear things, and bent over to pick up his canteen again.  
  
He heard hushed voices, so he yelled, "Who the heck is there?"  
  
Nobody answered, so he narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Ambuuuuuuuuuuush!" something yelled at him, and proceeded to do so.  
  
"Hey, hey get off!" Magnet yelled, "Obtener lejos!"  
  
One girl squealed with delight, "I don't know what he just said, but it was soooo dreamy."  
  
"Yeah, I bet the author didn't even get it right because she sucks at Spanish and is only using a Spanish dictionary!" The other girl said.  
  
*Growls* Hey! Nobody was supposed to know that!  
  
"Sorry!" the other girl cried, afraid of my awesome power, "I'm afraid of your awesome power!"  
  
*Smiles* That's more like it!  
  
During this dramatic confrontation of the writer and the girl, Magnet was standing there, dumbfounded, and wondering if he was dreaming. He poked himself, and then proceeded to pinch himself. When he didn't feel anything, he then hit himself in the head, which hurt, and made him scream, "Oww!", which caught the girls attention, which made this sentence become a run-on, and made the girls jump on top of him.  
  
"Hiiiiii," One girl said, "I'm Carina. You are muy sexy."  
  
"And I'm Libby, and I want to hug you to death!" The girl who had told on the writer exclaimed, and then hugged Magnet so hard he couldn't breathe.  
  
"Don't hug him to death!" Carina said, "Or else he will be dead!"  
  
Libby, amazed at her logic, and my awesome power, stood there dumfounded, and said, "Wow, I guess you're right."  
  
Magnet breathed a sigh of relief as Libby let go of him, and made the mistake of saying, "Hey, can you-"  
  
"OMG, HIS ACCENT IS HOT!" Carina screamed loudly, and tackled him back down to the ground, where she proceeded to shower him with hugs and kisses, while fighting of Libby who was trying to do the same.  
  
"Ayuda mì!" Magnet cried, being taken back down by the two fighting girls, who again squealed rambish thoughts about his accent being hot, and himself, being on fyah' [1].  
  
*Elsewhere*  
  
"Man, It's S-Q-U-I-D, you wanna' try me, end up with an I.V, trust me, hmm hmm hmmm hmm hmm, try digging on hole, then see me, boy."[2] Squid sang/hummed while putting on his boxer shorts [3]. He gave an amused look at Zig Zag, who was being clung to by a blonde girl who was rambling on about how cute he was.  
  
"Wow. You are so hot." A girl said, staring at Squid, who was still only in his boxers.  
  
Another girl came out, and said, "Stupid! We're supposed to scare them and make them paranoid, jump out of the shadows, and reek terror and fear on them while jumping and hugging them mercilessly! Then, we ramble on about how hot they are, like she is!" The other girl exclaimed, pointing at Shaun, who is actually me, who was reeking terror and fear on Zig Zag.  
  
The girl who doesn't follow my directions, and was still staring at Squid, who was trying to cover himself with his hands said, "Wow. You are so hot. I'm Emma, may I reek terror and fear on you will rambling on about how hot you are?"  
  
"Go away! I'm getting dressed!" Squid yelled, grabbing his shirt, and pulling it over his head quickly, and searching for his pants.  
  
"Are these yours?" Asked the other girl, holding up a pair of pants.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Can I have those back?" Squid asked, grabbing for them. She pulled them away though, and said, "I'm Jazmine, and I'm madly in love with you." [4]  
  
"Uh...cool." Squid said, reaching for his pants again, as Jazmine pulled them back, "Seriously, can I have those back?"  
  
"No." Jazmine said, holding them above her head, as Squid tried to jump for them. Emma had decided to attach herself to his side, and was peering up at him with a loopy grin.  
  
"Get off!" He yelled, trying to shove her off of him. She didn't budge though. He noticed that a canister of Super Glue was sitting beside his bed, and it looked as though it had recently been used. He looked back down at her, eyes wide, and she grinned again.  
  
"I lurve you. [5]" Emma said, "And now, we will never be apart!"  
  
"Hey!" Jazmine yelled, throwing his pants to the top of the tent, "I want some of Squid's hotness too!" With that, she pounced on him, causing him to topple over.  
  
*Elsewhere*  
  
Zero was sitting down on the ground, obviously giving up on any hope he had of standing up again. He had Erin, who I had decided to give another chance, perched ontop his head, ranting about his adorably curly hair; Ashley, who was either hugging him or taking notes on him; and Aly, who had given up her 2 word vocabulary, and settled on stroking his hair, and purring contentedly.  
  
"It could be worse." He said, "At least there are no more girls attacking me."  
  
*Smiles evilly* That's what you think!  
  
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mysuperhotandsocutecurlyhairedfriendofwhomilove." Someone yelled, jumping out from behind a bush. She laughed diabolically, and shouted, "I-Am-BRITTNEY! [6]", and then jumped on him, causing the other girls to let out an 'oof' like noise.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Zero yelled, being crushed underneath the weight of the 4 crazed love-struck girls.  
  
"Yes! And there is another one coming in the next chapter!" *Laughs evil laugh*  
  
~~!~~  
  
[1]-Haha, 'fyah'. This amuses me. In case you are not 'hip' to my lingo, that means fire.  
  
[2]-Squid's verse in "Dig It", gotta' love it. If you haven't heard it yet, it's on the Actor's commentary on the DVD.  
  
[3]-Anyone else drooling? No? Just me?  
  
[4]-Got that from your bio. *Grins*  
  
[5]-This word also amuses me. I 'lurve' the word 'lurve'. Yes, I am insane. :)  
  
[6]-I had to put my friend Brittney in this, we were listing to the Holes soundtrack today, and when Khleo started to sing, she screamed, "Zeroyouaremysuperhotandsocutecurlyhairedfriendofwhomilove!" really loud, so I hit her over the head with my water bottle.  
  
And...Emma...do I really rock your socks? *Giggles uncontrollably*  
  
I is glad you all like this! *Bows* Read, review, and reply! I lurve you all!  
  
Oh yeah, and sorry Shae, that I didn't put you in this chapter. It was getting quite lenghty, so I'll put you and X in the next chapter. Good night! Or day! Or whatever! 


	3. Chapter 3

Wee weeeee, okay remember, if you're not in this chapter, you'll be in the next chapter, and such. I'll accept 4 new names every 2 chapters (So, chapter 4, if you want to be in it, review). By the way, If I smote you or banish you in one chapter, you will most likely return in the next chapter. That is, until I start getting too many people in here. BUT, you will all return in the final chapter.  
  
Except one certain person of whom I am very very mad at right now, because we had a fight last night in which many swear words were used, and is no longer one of my friends, and can go rot in heck if she likes and *deep breath* I no longer wish to know her, and she can take what I said and shove it up her... bottom. Yes, I am banishing her, and she will not return... unless she apologizes to me, until then I am not sitting with her at lunch, talking to her, waiting for her at her locker, associating with her, or listing to anything she has to say unless it is, "I'm sorry for being such an incredible jerk, Shaun. I'm really really sorry that I was such a lousy friend to you, and that I spread stupid rumors about another of your friends just because I don't like her and was jealous because you were hanging out with her and not me. I'm sorry that this is becoming a run- on paragraph, but it had to in order for me to apologize to you because I am such a snot-nosed witchy jerk." ...but, up until that time when she says that all in one breathe with no periods and/or commas, she shall be smoted. That person is... ah, you'll find out sooner or later. Rather, let's make it sooner, shall we? Get ready for personal issues...  
  
~~!!~~!!~~!!~  
  
Zero was still lost beneath a hoard of rabid fangirls, but, that would soon change.  
  
"Are you ever going to let me out of here?" Zero asked me.  
  
No.  
  
"Okay then." He replied, not wanting to interfere with my great awesome power, which can make me smote a certain jerky girl off of him which I am about to do because she does so not deserve him.  
  
*Makes Aly quiver in fear* ALYSSA! I AM BANISHING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A WITCH! NO MORE ZERO FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM, OR ME FOR THAT MATTER! GO LIVE A LONG, FRIENDLESS, ZEROLESS LIFE! Gah'bye! *Banishes her* [1]  
  
The other girls are too busy petting Zero and such to notice me and Aly in combat, until a new girl appears out of nowhere, and randomly yells, "OMALE DU FRUMAGE! [2]"  
  
Who the heck are you?  
  
"I'm Rachel, Oui!" The girl screams loudly, causing my head to fall off.  
  
*Picks head back up and places it upon head*  
  
"THE WRITER DOESN'T KNOW ANYMORE FRENCH, SO FROM NOW ON I AM JUST GONNA' SCREAM RANDOM FRENCH, M'MKAY?" Rachel yelled, and then spouted off something in French.  
  
M'mkay.  
  
"I LOVE YOU ZERO!" Rachel screamed, following the footsteps of those crazed fangirls before her, by jumping on poor little defenseless Zero, and drooling over his adorably curly hair.  
  
"YOU HAVE ADORABLY CURLY HAIR!" Rachel said-er, screamed.  
  
"Hey!" Erin said, "That's my line!"  
  
"OHHHH, I'm SORRY!" Rachel yelled, grabbing some of his hair, "'TIS MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
*Elsewhere*  
  
X-ray, the calm, cool, confident leader of D-Tent, was definitely starting to lose his cool. He had the feeling he was being followed. So far, he had seen Zero, or, rather Zero's hair, being clung to be at least 4 different girls; Squid, who had one girl glued to his side, and another who had thrown his pants to Canada [3], and was now smooching and kissing him; Zig Zag, who was screaming something about the guy on the oatmeal box, while being kissed and hugged by a girl; and Magnet, who was being mauled by two girls exclaiming on how hot he was.  
  
"Okay, don't lose your cool." X-Ray said, walking back out of the tent.  
  
"Wow, he's talking to himself!" he heard someone say, and then giggle.  
  
"Who's there?!" He yelled, trying to sound important and cool, but failing, because I am the only cool and important one around hyah'.  
  
"Ooooh, babble and drool." He heard another voice say, from behind the showers. Carefully stepping over Magnet and the two girls, he made his way over to where the voices were coming from, and was preparing to attack one with a shovel, when they jumped out at him, one screaming something and waving her head around wildly.  
  
X-Ray screamed in fear, covering his head with his hands, and dropping the shovel.  
  
"Did I torment you? Have I inflicted fear and terror on you?" The girl asked, seemingly quite proud of herself.  
  
"Uh...no way. I wasn't scared." X-ray said, trying to act brave again, which makes me laugh, which makes me soil my pants...  
  
Another girl jumped out, looking quite mad at the other girl, and yelled, "X-Ray is mine! Miney miney mine!" With this, she hugged him, and began to babble and drool again.  
  
"Um, can somebody tell me what's going on here?" X-Ray asked, wiping drool of off his arm from the drooling girl, whose face was frozen in pure admiration.  
  
"I'm Shae, and I want to torment you. " The girl said, and then began to scream and make odd faces in an attempt to terrorize him.  
  
"I...forget my name..." The other girl said, still babbling and drooling, and hugging him to death. She must have been quite talented to be talking, forgetting her name, babbling, drooling, and hugging him to death all at the same time...  
  
Shae decided to help her out, and said, "Ka.Kay.."  
  
The other girl, still trying to remember her name, said, "K.Ka..Kay..K- Kacie! Yes! That's my name! And soon, it shall be Mrs. Kacie X-Ray."  
  
X-Ray looked down at her, still clinging to him, and shoved her off, trying to run away. Kacie caught back up to him though, and said, "Mine! ALLLLLLLLLLLL MINE!"  
  
X-Ray wanted to kill this writer.  
  
So, I sent another insane fangirl in to traumatize him. BEWARE MY POWER!  
  
"HIIIIIIAMSTEPHANIE." Stephanie said, pushing off Kacie and jumping on him.  
  
Kacie's face went red, and she screamed, "X-RAY-IS-MIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, a hill appeared, and the 3 fangirls and X-Ray all rolled down it, the girls fighting over him, and X-Ray screaming for mercy.  
  
This makith me laugh...ith.  
  
*Even more elsewhere*  
  
Twitch was sitting on the ground, twitching, and thinking about...cars. Cars, cars, cars, cars, girl doing yoga [4], cars... girl doing yoga?  
  
*Twitch* "Um, why are you doing yoga in the middle of the desert?" Twitch asked the girl.  
  
"Shhh...I'm doing a stretching duck...come, do a flying squirrel with me." The girl told him, "I am Jess."  
  
"Uh-h-hi Jess." Twitch twitched, coming over to where she was waving her arms wildly in the air, and then jumping and reaching towards the sky, "Do you-did you drive a car to get here?" He asked.  
  
"No... I came here by doing a dancing kangaroo." Jess said, standing up, "But, now my yoga is done, and I have something to do."  
  
"What Twitch asked, standing up along with her, and secretly wondering if she actually had driven a car there.  
  
She grinned like a loon, and then yelled, " KISS AND SQUEEZE AND HUG YOU! WOOOO!"  
  
"NO!!!!!!!" Twitch yelled, as she jumped on him, and began to kiss him, while every five seconds standing up to do some weird yoga move.  
  
"I love you! Standing tiger! I want to marry you! Running goat!" She yelled, attacking him, and doing yoga at the same time.  
  
*Laughing hysterically* Sitting duck!  
  
~!~!~  
  
[1]- Personal issues. Aly and me had a huge fight last night, and we're really mad at each other. I'm not sure if I really want her to apologize to me though. I'm not sure if it's worth it. She lied to me, plain and simple.  
  
[2]- Haha, I have NO idea how to spell that. It means, "Cheese Omelet" in French. Well, when it's spelled right it does.  
  
[3]- That was in your review : -D  
  
[4]- That was in your profile *Does dancing moose*  
  
~!~!~  
  
Shannon, once again, I'm sorry. I PROMISE you, you WILL be in next chapter. I ran out of room/time again, lol. I lurve you all! 


End file.
